Guru Organic Energy
I picked this up at the white people grocery store the other day. I don’t feel like calling out the name cause it’s a good store even if it is a little high class. I just returned from a long walk and my legs were cramping up. I thought it was a good time to bust out the guru energy drink. It’s a low sugar/diet/lite version so I appreciate that. You know me, I don’t care much for the heavy sugar. That’s not what potions are all about. That’s like when you have a burn and someone tells you to drink some vodka. Sure it kills the pain but it ain’t really helping. Plus points for low cal.
Description: Like light lemonade. A little syrupy in texture. Not sweet but almost thickened with cornstarch. I poured it in a glass and my girlfriend said it looked like something a bit unspeakable. I thought it was alright. Very lightly carbonated. A glass pour wasn’t what this drink was meant for, but it was alright.
Dosage: 8.4 oz. The light carbonation made it enjoyable when taking more than a sip. Easy going down but the thickness was a little off putting.
Effect: I feel a little wired in a weird way. I almost wrote viscosity instead of thickness. There’s some Gingko in there which might make me a smarter human being. I’ll be writing math poetry in no time. Nah I don’t care much for math. But I do think it’s put some pep in my step. Like I’m not more focused or energetic, but I am awake and alert. However I’ve been writing a lot of spelling errors so this one might just not be that great. I was hoping it would be a new fav but unless things change in the next 30 minutes I’m gonna have to give this one a lower rating. Nah that might be overly critical. I think a solid 3 out 5 stars. It’s worth a try and it doesn’t taste like redbull. Only a little of that fake sugary sweetness.
It’s been 45 minutes. I had to lay down. I got a massive headache. I felt sick. My thoughts were scattered. Was it too much caffeine today? I don’t know. Does this get 1 out of 5 stars? That doesn’t seem quite right. This one is UNRATEABLE with a tentative score of 3 out of 5. No need to be mean. But I feel like turd.
Turd Rating
1 out of 1 turds. 💩
Is the top of a can interesting?.